You're Probably Not as Good in Bed as You Think

Being "good at sex" takes practice and education. Because vaginal penetrative sex is by far the most common form of sex portrayed in popular culture, we tend to think it's simple and obvious and we know all there is to know. But every woman is different, and so there are countless techniques for getting things just right.

Foreplay is essential

Foreplay is the sex that occurs before penetration, and it should be considered an integral part of the experience. From massaging and kissing to dry-humping and oral sex, foreplay increases arousal for both parties. And because it causes the vagina to lengthen, expand and create natural lubrication, it will usually make penetration more enjoyable.

Start-stop for longer-lasting fun

A quickie is fine sometimes, but other times you or your partner might want more time for more pleasure. The start-stop technique can help you last longer, and add playfulness and intrigue as well. Simply stop stroking whenever it feels like you're about to ejaculate. Take a few deep breaths, then slowly start back. Then stop again to delay ejaculation. Repeat this for as long as you and your partner want to continue.

The best tip might be just the tip

The opening of the vagina has a lot of nerve endings that are too often overlooked. Giving your partner just the tip of your penis will not only stimulate those neglected nerves, but it will provide a break from the expected that might make things all the spicier. Deliver short, quick strokes that allow just the tip of your penis to penetrate. These short strokes will create lubrication in the vagina and allow your partner to warm up for deeper penetration.

Curling hits the spot

Hitting your partner's G-spot can lead to highly pleasurable orgasms for her. Access this erogenous zone by curling your stroke upward during penetration. Missionary-style is a great position for this stroke, and you only need to go a couple of inches deep.

Use rhythm and tempo like a rock star

Keep a rhythm when you are penetrating, but also mix it up. You can count the number of strokes you do before switching up the depth and motion. Keeping a rhythm and pace/tempo is important for the woman's stimulation. Just don't get so into the groove that you forget to mix it up. The same stroke and speed over and over can get tiresome for both parties.

What women say

A new study from OMGYES, published in the journal PLOS One, surveyed more than 3,000 American women between the ages of 18 and 93 on what they do to increase their pleasure during penetrative sex. The following four techniques were noted:

Angling

More than 87 percent of women surveyed experienced more pleasure during penetration by "angling." This involves raising, lowering or rotating the hips during penetration to adjust where inside the vagina the penis rubs.

Shallowing

Approximately 84 percent of the same group use the "shallowing" technique to make penetration more pleasurable. This involves a penetrative touch at the entrance of the vagina with a fingertip, tongue or the tip of the penis.

Rocking

With the "rocking" technique, which about 76 percent of the women said they use, the base of a penis rubs against the clitoris constantly during penetration. It does this while staying inside the vagina instead of going in and out.

Pairing

About 70 percent of the women reported using the "pairing" technique. This is when a woman reaches down to stimulate her clitoris during penetration.

A mistake that men make when trying to please a woman is assuming that all women are stimulated in the same way. In reality, no two women are alike, and not all women will respond in the same way. Some women only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, while others may only orgasm through penetration. The key is to mix it up. A fun reminder comes from an episode of "Friends" in which Monica explains to Chandler that a good experience will come from a variety of at least seven of a woman's erogenous zones: "1-2-3-3-5-3-5-4-3-2-2-6-7-7-7 …"

Just have fun exploring what gives you and your partner pleasure. Use a number of positions and techniques, and see which ones hit the spot.