Divorce, Separation and Annulment—What's the Difference?

Some relationships don’t last even when partners plan to be together “till death do us part.” According to statistics from the American Psychological Association, between 40-50 percent of marriages end in divorce in the United States.

A couple doesn’t have to file for divorce, though. Trial separations and annulments are additional options for when a marriage begins to fail or faces tough hurdles. In understanding the differences between divorce, separation and annulment, you can choose what’s best for both parties and achieve a healthier relationship or move on with your life.

Why marriages fail

Relationships are a lot of work—an idea many individuals struggle to grasp when entering into marriage.

Another factor regarding why marriages fail is infidelity. According to data gathered by the Institute for Family Studies from the General Social Survey (GSS) in 2018, 20% of men and 13% of women said they had sex with someone other than their spouse while married.

While not everyone gets caught, those who catch their spouse cheating usually find the relationship isn’t worth saving due to lingering trust issues.

Ego is another major catalyst. Although relationships are meant to be selfless, some strong-minded individuals have an insatiable ego, which can trump other aspects of the marriage. In this regard, winning an argument or having the final word is more important than the relationship itself. This self-centeredness can put a strain on the marriage, especially when the feelings of the other party are ignored.

Sometimes one or both parties in a marriage struggle with self-care or other efforts to please their partner. One study of 2,300 respondents indicated 58.5 percent of men and 39.8 percent of women become overweight within a few years of marriage. Complacency, inactivity, routine, boredom and taking one another for granted can all contribute to a lack of sexual desire or sexual activity. When this occurs, married couples can start to feel unattractive or that they have a roommate rather than a spouse.

Other marriage busters include finances; disagreements about parenting; addiction or substance abuse; changes in personal or shared goals; religious differences; problems with extended family; lack of trust or honesty; and abuse (physical, verbal or mental).

What’s a divorce?

Divorce is a legal decree that dissolves a marriage while both parties are still alive. From a legal viewpoint, divorce falls under two types:

• Fault-based divorce. A fault-based divorce is the result of adultery, substance abuse or domestic violence. With this type of divorce, a party doesn’t have to wait a certain amount of time to file. In addition, this can sway or influence a court’s decision regarding the division of assets, child custody and spousal support.
• No-fault divorce. Just as it sounds, in a no-fault divorce, no party is considered to be at fault. Most of the time this type of dissolution is due to drifting apart, a loss of affection or other irreconcilable differences.

Once a couple becomes divorced, both parties are free to remarry or enter into a domestic partnership. A divorce also resolves any dispute regarding assets, alimony or child custody.

What’s an annulment?

An annulment is similar to a divorce in that it legally ends a marriage and sets forth a legal precedent for the separation of assets, spousal support and child custody. While a divorce recognizes the original marriage as legal, an annulment decrees it wasn’t. Specific grounds must be met to qualify for an annulment, such as:

• One or both of the parties were already married.
• A person was forced into marriage under duress or tricked into marriage due to fraud or non-disclosure of critical information.
• The marriage was incestuous.
• One or both parties were under the influence of drugs or alcohol when signing the marriage certificate.
• The marriage took place before one or both parties reached the age of consent.

If you think you may qualify for an annulment, note requirements vary from state to state and you may need to hire an attorney.

What’s a separation?

A separation, also known as a trial separation, is a different concept in that it does not end a marriage. It’s still recognized in a court of law and prevents either party from entering into a domestic partnership or remarrying.

The advantage of a separation is it gives both parties time to soul-search and decide if they want to permanently end the marriage or work things out. For individuals who still love their spouse, a separation may be the most beneficial option.

New beginnings aren’t always easy

Despite the legal and emotional hurdles of ending a long-term relationship, a divorce, separation or annulment isn’t the end of your personal life or love life, but rather a new chapter. By being honest and open with your spouse about your needs, you can decide what’s best for everyone involved. You just might find the agreed decision leads you to a better mental and emotional state soon.