Edging: Prolong Sex, Control Orgasms & Have More Fun
If you’re sexually active, there’s a good chance you’ve deliberated about how to make sexual pleasure last longer. While the internet is full of “tips and tricks,” one particular practice focuses exclusively on prolonging pleasure: edging.
In this context, edging—some people call it peaking, surfing or teasing—means going right up to the brink of orgasm and then stopping whatever it is you’re doing. You wait to regain control. And then you start again. And you repeat this technique for as long as you can hold out.
As a solo practice, edging is an excellent tool for developing more control over your orgasms while allowing you to become more familiar with your body’s limits and preferences. With a partner, it can be a playful, teasing experience that should bring you closer as you become involved in the timing of your partner’s orgasm.
Edging's clinical roots
The edging concept was first elaborated via a clinical study and then a set of behavior modification exercises by Dr. James A. Semans, who published a paper about treating men who suffered from premature ejaculation in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 1956. In his paper, Semans detailed the efficacy of what he called the “start-stop method.” The procedure went pretty much as it sounds: stopping what you're doing when you feel close to orgasm, waiting 30 seconds and then continuing.
What's different about how people approach edging today is that it's become much more than simply training yourself to have better penetrative sex. Edging now is recognized as a fun sexual technique all its own.
The 4 stages of arousal
Edging is a great way to fully understand your body's responses and the sensations leading up to orgasm. The famous research team of William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson identified the four stages of arousal:
- Excitement. We experience increased heart rate and breathing, our muscles tense and our skin flushes. Blood flow to the genitals (vasocongestion) results in an erection in men and vaginal lubrication in women.
- Plateau. Vasocongestion reaches its peak and the penis is fully erect, with the testes pulled up tighter to the body. (This is an important stage that you must be able to identify for successful edging.)
- Orgasm. Women have increased vaginal lubrication and men reach the point of “ejaculatory inevitability” when a series of nerve and muscle responses takes over, resulting in ejaculation.
- Resolution. Blood flow returns to normal, and men experience a refractory period during which they temporarily can't get aroused.
Practice makes perfect
If you’re attempting this technique for the first time, it's probably best to try edging on your own, before graduating to trying it with a partner.
One great tool that can help you identify where you are in these stages of arousal is to think of the progress to orgasm on a scale of 1 to 100, “1” being no excitement at all and “100” being the moment you climax. Start by masturbating up to the point where you’re at a 70 or 80, then back off and reset for 30 seconds, and then slowly start masturbating again. As you get better at this, slowly push yourself higher until you’re able to hit a 95 and still pull back at the critical moment.
You’re now ready to share your new skills.
Edging together
Incorporating edging into a couple’s mutual masturbation play can be fun and beneficial. It’s essential both partners listen closely to the other’s responses as orgasm nears and communicate their needs to the other.
Edging with a partner can be especially beneficial for men who suffer from anxiety-based erectile dysfunction. If you agree in advance that masturbation (of each other or yourselves) is the only item on the sex menu right now, it can help men shed the sense of pressure to perform penetrative sex. Focusing strictly on masturbation can help both partners relax and be more at ease with each other, and that’s good in any sexual situation.
As we mature sexually, it's important to remember that no matter how exciting the destination may be, it’s often the journey that can be the most fun. With the addition of edging to our sexual palette, we can all become more fully aware sexual creatures and learn to enjoy the ride even more.
