How a Bad Work-Life Balance Can Kill Your Sex Life
It's common practice for everyone to "want it all": a fulfilling career, loving home life, full social life, exciting vacations and time left over for sports and hobbies.
Unfortunately, outside of TV comedy shows, real life rarely works this way. Killing it at the office often means sacrificing time and attention paid to your personal life, or vice versa. And while these types of imbalances are normal and expected, anything left out of whack for too long can lead to serious damage.
In the case of your sex life, if you're overextended at the office, you may just end up underextended (pun intended) in the bedroom.
Work stress, work stress and more work stress
Stress kills in terms of overall health and your sex life, too. In a 2019 study published by the International Journal of Impotence Research, findings indicated men and women who were experiencing workplace or personal burnout were more likely to experience corresponding sexual problems. Women in particular had orgasm and lubrication issues when under high levels of work-related stress.
While there may not be a simple solution, there are small ways to disconnect from your office life that can make a huge difference.
For instance, commit to weekly date nights when you turn off your phone and avoid talking about work. Or plan a monthly weekend getaway that takes you out of your normal zone, mentally and geographically.
Here's an easy one: You know exercise helps reduce stress and anxiety, so consider taking a walk with your partner every night—just around the block is fine—and use the time to talk about your relationship and physically connect by holding hands.
Long hours sucking all the fun from life
Even if your job isn't particularly stressful, you may find yourself regularly logging overtime or perhaps your work shifts are out of sync with your partner's. Either way, you may find it challenging to be physically present for sex.
This may sound like crazy talk, but if this is your ongoing reality, look for ways you can schedule sex in your calendar.
Talk to your partner about the best time to connect physically, then put it in your respective calendars. Even just 15 minutes on a Sunday morning is better than skipping sex altogether, and you may find the anticipation adds some excitement. For times when you're apart, commit to sending sexy or suggestive texts. And for the precious time you have together, try to spend more time physically touching while sleeping or relaxing on the couch.
Sometimes your work-life imbalance can put you in a bit of a cycle—thinking about how to fix it can feel overwhelming, only leading to more stress and frustration. Rather than beating yourself up, just remember quality is often more important than quantity.
Communicate with your partner about how you can both reasonably improve your sex life in a way that won't add more stress. You may be surprised to find your partner isn't looking for a daily roll in the hay and is perfectly happy with once or twice a week while you both take on more at the office. As long as you find a solution that works for both of you—one that doesn't have to conform with some imagined contest in which you think every other couple is having sex five times a night—resolving this stressful situation may do more to bring you closer together than you imagined possible.
