Top Tips to Help Women Relax During Sex

For some women, relaxation comes easy. For others, they struggle to disconnect in bed from their daily needs, social media and work. In fact, many women are disconnected from their bodies most of the day; instead, we're spending time in our heads or on devices. When it comes to sex, relaxing and feeling connected to ourselves and our partner can sometimes seem impossible.

Experiencing anxiety about sex is normal

Women may find it difficult to relax during sex for many reasons. For some, letting go and opening yourself up to another person is overwhelming. Other common reasons include body image issues, worries about sexual performance and feeling uncomfortable with a partner.

If you're worried you might be in an unhealthy relationship, then your anxiety might be trying to warn you that you're unsafe or subconsciously less-than-willing. However, if you're with a partner you trust, or even if you're experiencing anxiety with multiple partners, there are methods to help you relax and unwind during sex.

1. Focus on your breathing

Connecting to their body can be difficult for women in the moment, so one easy way to relax is to focus on their breathing.

This simple trick connects you to a specific aspect of your body and can help you become more in tune with what you're feeling and experiencing. While it might not help you relax on the first try, practicing it consistently will lead you to feeling more present during sex.

2. Find ways to communicate with your partner

Communicating during sex can be extremely difficult, but, particularly for women, it is a vital part of intimacy. The good news is you don't have to become a great communicator overnight in order to let your partner know how you're feeling. If you're finding it difficult to tell your partner when you're feeling anxious, need a bit more time to warm up or aren't enjoying something, work out nonverbal communication signals.

Next time you're feeling a bit anxious, squeeze your partner's hand. Or, if you're not enjoying something, squeeze their arm twice. You can figure out the specific signals together and they may help you overcome communication barriers during sex.

3. Concentrate on what you love about your body

If body image issues are at the root of your bedroom anxiety, it's important to understand there's no quick fix. Overcoming your body issues will likely require a tremendous amount of independent, internal work, and that you'll likely benefit from therapy. In the meantime, an easy tip for helping yourself relax during sex is to focus on what you love about your body.

Focus on the parts of your body you appreciate, no matter how specific or seemingly insignificant, rather than spending time focusing on parts you're less enthusiastic about. This can help you feel more confident and alive in your own skin.

4. Don't be goal-oriented

It's easy to think of sex as an activity with a single goal: orgasm. However, to really enjoy sex and open up to your partner, you'll want to push the end result aside and focus on the whole experience. Think about how your body feels all over when your partner touches you. It can be more difficult for women to orgasm when their supreme priority is achieving climax, so turning your mind away from this outcome and focusing on how you feel in the moment may actually help you achieve orgasm more easily.

Remember, sex should be enjoyable, not work

A good sexual experience should be when it feels wonderful to connect physically with another person... and that doesn't mean that everyone has to have an orgasm.

Relaxing during sex isn't easy for all women and may feel uncomfortable at first. Just make sure you let your partner know if you're feeling anxious, and work on small ways to get more comfortable during the act.