What It's Like to Buy Your First Vibrator (And How to Use It)
Opening the curtains. Flicking the bean. Lovin' your bad self. No matter what euphemisms you prefer to use, fact remains that female masturbation is an insanely taboo topic, even today.
Most women are familiar with the age-old ritual of doing awkward cubicle yoga, carefully maneuvering a showerhead in the shower station or the strategic placement of a vibrating Motorola, but even in modern times, some are hesitant to delve into the world of vibrators.
And, yeah, that's completely understandable.
Vibrators come in a dizzying range of options—clit stimulating, rabbit suction, double-ended and many more. When faced with an almost endless list of choices, it's easy to get overwhelmed and call it a day.
That's pretty much what happened when I first started shopping for a vibe, but once I figured out exactly what I was looking for, the entire process became easy to understand. I opted to shop online, both for the simplicity and convenience, and because I wasn't comfortable enough to walk into a store and shop in-person—baby steps, you guys.
Most online sex shops and boutiques offer discreet packaging and delivery—rest assured, there won't be a giant flag proclaiming your NSFW purchases on cardboard.
First steps…
The initial step toward my foray into sex toys was deciding what kind of vibrator I wanted. As a first-timer, I was looking for something beginner-friendly.
There are numerous makes, models, speeds and features in the vibrator realm, but quite a few require a little more knowledge on how to use them to achieve maximum pleasure. Don't worry though, there are plenty of options for novices who are just starting their exploration.
Keeping my newbie status in mind, I opted to forgo the more complex options and zeroed in on a bullet vibrator—sleek, portable and budget-friendly. Bullet vibes are designed to focus on the clit, but there are versions available that can be used internally, curving upward to hit the G-spot. In this article we're going to focus solely on bullet vibes, but if there's something else you're interested in, don't be afraid to explore the vast world of toys that will hit the spot.
Bullets usually possess silent motors, making them a subtle and discreet choice for beginners who aren't looking to broadcast that they're using a sex toy.
If you're just getting your feet wet with vibrators, I highly recommend you choose a bullet made out of body-safe silicone, as to avoid ingredients that may cause irritation or harbor bacteria.
According to Chicago-based sexual wellness expert Searah Deysach of Early to Bed, "The safest materials for vibrators are hard plastic and silicone."
Silicone is a softer material, both nonporous and body-safe, and has the added benefit of muffling the motor sounds making the vibe quieter and more discreet.
Another material that is body-safe is hard plastic, which glides along the body smoothly and is often used in smaller toys.
Both of these materials are easy to keep clean and sanitized and should cause no irritation for users. Make sure to opt for these materials rather than soft nonsilicone substances, as they can harbor bacteria or contain ingredients that can irritate the skin.
Vibrators are available in an extensive range of materials, but experts unanimously agree the best option is silicone, which has a soft texture and finish, and often is labeled as "medical-grade silicone," which means that it has been tested in a lab to ensure that it doesn't become toxic once exposed to bodily fluids, which makes it the safest choice for both first-timers as well as old hands.
Bullets are also easy to use. You don't really need to figure anything out or consult a diagram to understand what goes where—it's just a case of switching it on and beginning.
Okay, you've got your toy. Now what?
Once the vibe is switched on, it might seem like a no-brainer to shove it down your pants and go to town, but don't.
Masturbation, like intercourse, is a sensual activity meant to be savored and enjoyed, not rushed. Approach using a vibrator the same way you'd prep for sex—with some warmup.
Start slow by gently brushing the bullet across your body—soft, featherlight strokes that might mimic a partner's touch. Focus the vibe on erogenous zones, such as the thighs, chest and even unexpectedly sensitive areas like the backs of your knees or the small of your back. Be open to trying new spots—you'd be surprised by what pleasurable sensations you discover.
Once you've achieved a state of arousal, you can guide the bullet to the vagina—focus the vibe in and around the surrounding area (aka the vulva). You can also gently lift the clitoral hood for a more intense sensation. If the feeling is a bit too strong, you can adjust the rotational speed of the vibe to suit you better.
One of the handiest features of bullet vibrators is their small size. Take full advantage of this and maneuver the vibe to hit those hard-to-reach spots.
Vibes are great for solo sessions, but you can certainly incorporate them into partner play, too. Besides being easy to use, they also have the ability to stimulate erogenous zones on folks of any gender identity—not solely restricted to women.
Last step: Cleaning up
Make sure to rinse the toy (following the cleaning instructions on the toy) after each and every use. If not cleaned properly, sex toys of any kind can accumulate a bacterial buildup and lead to a multitude of nasty infections.
Be sure to avoid that happening by thoroughly cleaning the toy with either the specific cleansing agent or unscented soap and warm water.
Keep these tips in mind while you start your vibrator journey and you'll be on your way to O-town in no time.
